I am 16 years old and very depressed.. i feel like i am living life just to see what happens. i need some help?

I am 5 10 130 pounds with pretty good looks and a very good physique( i am not trying to sound cocky i am just stating what i think is true). anyways im too small for my age and in highschool this can get too be a problem cuz i gott a lotta racist pricks at my school. i am kinda funny and am pretty open minded.. i never bother any1 for no reason.. i was good at sports like boxing, track and hockey but i ****** that all up with drugs.. i have like only 4 or 5 friends of which maybe one is real and every attempt of a relationship i get with a girl i always mess up at this point ive been rejected so many times that i just say **** it whats the point.. its not even a rejection where i just go and randomly ask sum chic out...its shittier becuz i can get the girl too like me at the beggining and for a little while.. but then she thinks im weird or sumthing after a while because i suck at talking to chics.. i get made fun of at school but i dont even know what i did wrong but its mainly racism i dont even have a crew that wod back me up when i ever got into a scrap so most of the time i just gotta take ppls **** .. but shits weird tho cuz girls like me too... it seems like they wished that i wasnt a ``loser``... At home i always have family problems with my abusive dad whos a prick and emberasses me infront of my peers.. i had recently been kicked out of my house for 8 months and dropped out of school i am back home now tho and am still out of scool because i had gotten addicted too marijuana( i smoke it atleast 3 times a day for the past year and i cant stop ) i have done too much e and m in the past couple weeks so my mind is getting really paranoid and ****** up..i can never trust any1 and the only time i hang out with my ``friends`` is when i wanna pop caps and do stupid **** like that so i dont relly hang out with any1 that often..im a pretty lonely guy and with chics i dont wanna try because i could have hooked up with a chic this summer and i was so close but i had some WACK game at the end.. so it just feels like theres nuthing left... no school, no motivation, no friends, no girl, shitty depressing job, suck at sports, drug addict, i wish i was fat as **** and ugly as hell so then this would make sense to me.. my self respect does not match my physical appearance at all... i know i sound like a ***** but **** man i cant take it anymore.. my whole life ive been taught by my older bro to not be a hater, but i think im turning into oneI am 16 years old and very depressed.. i feel like i am living life just to see what happens. i need some help?
Awwwww - no predators today?

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