What do you think of these poems i wrote?

“Waking up with a breath of air filling the lungs of life

Leaning forward my legs touch the floor

Getting dressed I reach

I reach with stepping steps by step to door

Reach the stairs and onward with kitchen

To biscuit and juice, out the door

Key in car, gear in place

Onward on my way”









The engine churns with the turn of the key.

Chug and scrape as the cylinder shaves

And the piston tares the glitter free

Don’t seize, don’t seize, just make it there.

Pulling cap pours think the oil,

Half cup and silver flakes.

Engine tears, my hand on hood

And other pouring clean and clear

Fluid flushed and filled to full

Turn of key, engine churns

Glitter free, a fresh breath

into the structure of the motor









Childhood games and mischief

My first, second then third car crash

and my red light ticket

Being put in a football toy box and rolled around

Like bottle rockets down the stairs

And shotgun shells with marbles taped

Tossed so the primer pops when the marble strikes

One night at the lake campfire or even the Fourth of July

Like matches it burns tell the flame subsides





Chaos love

Sweet, pretty and shy

I went down to the moment of yesterday

When you were down on tomorrow

Wishing you would change,

Change the time, the moment,

When you stepped in and fell in love

What would you ask for love?

Just fill the blank of this time.What do you think of these poems i wrote?
These are definitely pretty good. You have a way of letting words flow nicely. My favorites are 1, 4, %26amp; 3 in that order.



I did catch some typos:



-3rd poem, last line: "Like matches it burns 'TIL/until the flame subsides"



-4th poem, last line: "just fill IN the blank this time." or maybe you meant it as is.





Overall, wonderful work. Keep it up :)