How did i do on a scale of 1 to 10,ignore stars,its so u can see the swears,also what are your favorite lines?

Check this out cuz ma words so beautiful

f*aget a*ss n*ig*gas come dressin for their funerals.

n*ig*gas be hatin nd runnin off

but I don鈥檛 mind at all

cuz they lookin like they have part time jobs polishing golf balls.

Ur gurl be givin me quickies,

runnin home wit her neck full of hickies.

I鈥檒l make you loose ur train of thought,

I fu*cked your gurl nd she got mad dat we got caught.

nd even if ma versus long

I no she wont be tired by the end of the song

im gone

I leave everything behind in the last song

im in the game

but I feel like the referee made the wrong call.

I don鈥檛 spit any jokes

u n*ig*gas is frogs nd all I here is croaks.

u no dat ma flow is nice

ma s*hits hot but ma pee still cold as ice.

I got a ice box were ma heart be

I look back and see how da game changed me.

ill take you to a mystical world

filled with nice cars and beautiful gurls.

nd what I say is da word

this is a lesson dat has yet to be learned.

so get ready cuz Ive started the session,

life might be cruel

but to me, its a blessing.

I aint no alcoholic,

but I sure do love to shake it nd pop it.

nd when u got dat last sip in da flasks

sit back nd relax

nd let the world go pass.

a lot has changed since the past

but da same people approach me nd talk trash.

I wish I can erase it all

like da times when they capped on me for being small.

but its still all good

and as biggie said

"same number same hood,"

but you know you got to finish strong

cuz in the end, it could all be over in dat one call

in the middle of the court were u dropped da ball

lookin at yourself sayin dat you'll never fall.

nd then all the supports collapse

it'll all be over before you can react.



written by David Moscat (me) AKA DISAZTER.How did i do on a scale of 1 to 10,ignore stars,its so u can see the swears,also what are your favorite lines?
as a fellow lyricist, please, do not keep talking about how "nice" your flow is or mention "the game" every 3 lines. just prove it in your lyrics (how nice your flow is and such) and you can mention the way the game is once you're actually in it....ya know? and dont talk about ******* ppls girls (unless you that type of n*gga...)
I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but its pretty lame.How did i do on a scale of 1 to 10,ignore stars,its so u can see the swears,also what are your favorite lines?
whether youre just starting off or not, it wasnt bad...my suggestion for you is to learn about making music - listen to your favorite artists (its better if its not all rap) and get a feel for what the message is that they are trying to get across...you have a lot of potential with some of the topics in this verse - you just need to expand them...also - when you write your lyrics, write them to an instrumental...you need to develope a sense of rhythm and that will help...stick with this, its not something that happens over night
"ma s*hits hot but ma pee still cold as ice."



........really dude? That's....wow.....http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a386/K鈥?/a>



2/10How did i do on a scale of 1 to 10,ignore stars,its so u can see the swears,also what are your favorite lines?
first of all, please don't say f*gget a*ss n*ig*gas..please just don't...

Homophobia ain't cool.

secondly, get your vocabulary up and talk about meaningful things..

nobody cares if your pee is cold as ice or if you f*cked somebody else's girl and gave her hickies



2/10
As compared to the majority of rap's posted in this section, it's actually pretty good. However you should practice more on your rhyme complexity and definitely on your' subject matter.

i'll give it a 7/10